Don't come here someone got drunk and rolled the keg to buger king. no more beeer
I think I died a long time ago.
i just won an entire level on word mole with the word 'clitoris'
This last weekend single handedly took me off the liver transplant list
when did my "fat clothes" just become my clothes...diet starts tomorrow
Every day I regret the life decisions that led me to bank management and NOT being a coke addicted stripper. Every. Single. Day.
was i strangled at any point last night? or was his dick just that long
I think I'm going to postpone my photo shoot until my Gpa dies. I don't want to be in lingerie and stripper heels when I finally get the call
That's what I'm here for. To bitch slap you into believing in yourself.
Ya. My thumbs are those buffalo's, but my legs are spirits and my torso is that Indian guys and my head is the eagle
My crotch smells like fire and I can't find my pants
I told her I'd rather set my hair on fire than sleep with her again. In retrospect, that was probably too harsh. My eye is still swollen shut.
I'm still trying to figure out who shit on the coffee table. I have confirmed beyond a reasonable doubt that it wasn't me.
Oh and sorry for almost killing all of us last night... twice...
Hitting up all my dealers for my birthday grams is paying off
Randomize
