I don't think I can fit "I'm sorry for ruining Christmas" on one cake. Better make two.
So the weirdest part of it all was he whispered in my ear "can i eat you out on your tredmill?" I dont find him attractive at all anymore
I feel as though I could trust her, I mean she did tell me she was married before we had sex.
Its like they don't get that I only talk to them before homecoming, thanksgiving, or any other time I go home. I love highschool girls.
I remember just enough about last night to wish I didn't remember anything.
Cute underage boy is in my house.
OH MY GOD. DON'T DO ANYTHING. WHY IS HE IN YOUR HOUSE.
I'm like 80% sure we nearly got arrested because we threw fireworks at a car
I think I may have some undocumented and undiscovered std that causes girls to go bat shit crazy. How you got it is beyond me
Is "I want you to destroy my insides" too forward?
This is stupid. I am not getting knocked up from fucking in his backseat behind a starbucks. I refuse.
Just passed the animal clinic parking lot I had to pull over to puke in during welcome week. I can almost hear the dogs barking at my shame again.
We can get drunk and battle coyotes
They were assless. I wore assless football pants.
His balls will have been in my mouth at least once by this time tomorrow.
To be honest, the last time I saw him he had a jesus costume on telling people to pray to his bible.
So he's at the chuch?
No, hooters.
Randomize
