I feel miserable, can't drink that much when I go out
We've been saying that since '98
i don't have parental supervision. i'm gonna start accepting candy from strangers now.
everytime he calls himself the maxipad master i can't help but wonder what costume that would involve.
I just had to google "How do I get semen stains off of drywall." I'm relatively proud of this
you seemed to enjoy falling down hill
wow, never heard the last few months of my life put so succint
My liver just had a heart attack.
Hes wearing a shirt that says warning shitshow and i cant help but think his attorney made him wear it so ppl know the dangers.
Whatever happend to that lawsuit where he got sued for shittig in that fish tank
I told her shower beers are even better when you have someone in there with you and she said she's been looking for a new drinking buddy. It's a goooooo
I am so sorry for drunk texting you r kelly lyrics
Did I really just send a work email with cum instead of come? feck me
You know you need to get it together when a frat guy wakes you up and says you need to go to class
Not as great as when your drunk mom grabbed my junk, but better than when your sober grandma sacktapped me and grabbed my butt.
a victory without nudity is not really a victory
just learned i can hear my fish chewing his food WHILE HES IN HIS BOWL. im going to have to call you back.
I just ran into my psychology professor at Planned Parenthood she asked why I was there and I asked why she was there and it turns out we both had a scare.#bonding because of abortion.
Randomize
