How crunk are you?
I'm a Tom Selleck. Zero being Tipper Gore and max being the Bush twins
he just payed for our date, after telling him I was leaving early to meet my fuck buddy. is there something lower than friendzone I can stick this guy in?
Brutal- a couple weeks back I had a 28 hr blackout and four day hangover. S'why I decided to haul it in
She bought a fucking hedgehog. And that's just the tip of the crazy iceberg.
Yeah well I used to see how many bud lights I could slam down during the pledge of allegiance, my record was 4, but I could do better now.
if I'm at school tomorrow just indulge my moment of pity and let me cry on your shoulder
1st rule of birth control pills: do not stop taking birth control pills. 2nd rule of birth control pills: do NOT STOP taking birth control pills.
I swear, when I turn 21 in four months, I'm going to carry a flask around with me, and make a drinking game out of everything.
Didn't think the day of being the oldest in a club would be when I'm twenty one. Even the bouncer looked surprised when he ID me.
As if I didn't already know that I was in the friend zone, our conversation that included the words "kiddo" and "old friend" really was a knee biter.
Actually we have similar relationship styles aka no relationship... it could work
Jungle juice breakfast? No? Ok.
I walked in on a circlejerk after punching that guy out. Instant karma.
I missed you last night. I'm sure he will never forget the night i sang my heart will go on into his penis like a microphone
You know what i hate? I hate when the ppl you drunkenly made out with actually want to talk to you sober. It just doesn't work that way sir.
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