I just saw a girl walking home wearing a tshirt, boxers, and cowboy boots. Thanks for having the decency to drive me to my car.
The kid taped his penis down so that he wouldn't get a boner while dancing with girls. Oh these middle school man whores never cease to amaze me.
What would you have done with a 40 foot neon parrot anyway?
well the hot one passed out so thats that, but then the fat one made chicken nuggets....totally worth it
That's so unfortunate for him bc you can always find another penis, but he's stuck with it
Turned out not to be so bad. He had a big dick and i owed him for all the free beer over the year.
I maybe late, he's in a peeing contest with the neighbor's dog. Currently he's in the lead.
I think she's perpetually drunk
It's all she knows
Sober me admires drunk me's enthusiasm, but there is no way I'm going to make it out there today.
Lol drunk you is so full ideas and happy. Sober you is full of grumpy reality.
He tried to stop traffic by waving his half eaten pizza at cars.... And we were stupid enough to cross .....??!!!
I lost my bar virginty and made out with a dwarf. It was a good night
She fell off the bed and giggled until she passed out naked. It was really weird.
Probably not gonna date her.
He just said Bill Nye is just a dude. If I ever considered sleeping with him, I never will now.
Well, I wish you luck on finding out who your boyfriend is
The last time I saw you you got angry and yelled "WHISKEY DOESNT COUNT" ... I think that's at least a 7 on the hotmess scale.
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