**** and his GF asked me to give his stuff back, and they would give me a 100. HA, they dont know I have it to charity haha
i'm forgoing the post-coitus cuddling sesh to ask u this :when he says he loves me and all i can think to say is either "cool" or "i love boning you," what do i do?
So I'm at the Chevron by your house. I need a condom and a couch.
Together?
Preferably.
Hallmark should totally make "congratulations on getting your period" cards...I feel they would be quite popular.
Steve is enlightening me on how and why u put gerbils up your ass
You should have seen the look on the cashiers face when I was buying steel reserve with a suit on.
the cops didn't wanna shut the tailgate down but the strippers weren't allowed to take money without a license or somthing
security doesn't like it when we pee on cars. or maybe just not theirs?
And the clouds opened up and the sex gods said I hate you alfalfa
The pastor just stopped the sermon to lay hands on me. THAT hungover.
We would be rich. And the whole world would be stoned.
Well, I made it all the way to the gas station. And from there, I begged a cab driver who was parked outside, to give me a piggy back ride the final 2 blocks to my apartment. I wasn't in the cab. Didn't have to pay. Drunk me is smart, and very lazy.
It's getting harder and harder to find People to carry her home
She shouldn't drink
if you arent using your penis to save lives, then what good is it?
Wanna go get tea? Warning: I will be high in an hour.
Randomize
