So how was last night?
Let's just say I danced with the devil
Huh?
I'm going to Hell for sure
please say your awake. the girl i brought home last night...any idea on a name? she isnt up yet...
So i just bought beer on a credit card, using a fake ID, while wearing my nametag from work. All 3 have different names on them. God i love my boobs.
i am not listening to taylor swift on a pink ipod. totally not happening.
What kind of friend are you? You don't even blackout anymore.
So I told her I dislocated my shoulder and she said "well okay. I can either be on top or blow you."
Decisions, decisions.
Mystery solved: The table is broken because I had sex on it last night.
Her only article of clothing is an American Flag
whiskey
stop
tequila
you're fuckin up my ability to be a agrown up
I think it was a smart move. Quickest way to get over a guy, hook up with his friends.
I'm just blindly tossing my dick into whatever comes my way.
Also, two points for knowing me well enough to know I definitely would put the moves on his brother.
in your professional opinion, what's the most elegant way of saying "sorry I spent all night flirting with you, I thought you were gay" ?
When we were finished she immediately got up, cut a star out of a piece of paper, colored it gold, taped it to my chest and deemed me the Sheriff of Sex.
I just don't understand what you plan on accomplishing there except for losing all vestiges of post-freshman year dignity
Randomize
