I dint menn to makr ut w brtendr
Wat???
U lft me at bar, no cassh for cab, may have slept with bartender
now i know why they say having sex with her is the equivalent to licking a pay phone
FYI: if you have sex in your room with the light on, we can totally see your shadows from the parking lot
Your boyfriend has good rhythm though.
What can I expect? While all of my friends are getting married, all of his friends are tripping on robitussin
y-o-u-r-e = you are, y-o-u-r = your. you are a bag of douche not your bag of douche. if you're going to insult me at least do it in proper english. that is all.
we usually just have an Easter beer hunt and never end up at church anyways
The Wii Fit is already telling me I'm an alcoholic.
They both told everyone they fell in a mud puddle
Oh they definetly fell in the mud, repeatedly, on top of each other
I thought your voice was coming from the walls. I've never been so relieved to find you naked in a closet
He told me he loved me and then asked if we could have sex in the snow
See, thats where im at with my life, welcome to the slut yaht we will be cruising comfortably all summer at an extremely drunken relaxing pace S.S. Slut Bucket
Our innocent game of 'Duck, duck, booze.' ended up not being so innocent
Turns out lunch break sex with someone you cant stand being around for any amount of time just makes you wish you had gone to get tacos like you originally planed.
You don't understand. This could be the last time I shave a star into my vag. Get over here.
He left stubble rash on my thighs and cooked me bacon before 9am. I need to lock this down STAT
Randomize
