I was so high i started crying when i saw how much puppychow was there.
i woke up this morning next to my toilet covered in an attempt to make blanket of toilet paper
Its time to go balls to the wall to get any good D during these last few weeks of college.
Whales. Broccoli little trees giant. Magic in cat form. I want my loco and juice. Black in shower. Brb remember life.
I just blurted out "it's pretty tight isn't it"
THERE IS A WINE CUBE IN MY ASS THIS IS NOT GOING AS PLANNED
And I'm stuck at home while my dad's in vegas hanging out with Zach gali... Zach... That guy from the hangover
I think you handled your pregnancy scares better than that cricket in your bathroom
Do you think the police would frown on me opening a psych drug pharmacy on the side? Just to dispose of my drugs without polluting the water supply! It is for the animals!
Were you citizens arresting people again last night?
DO I FUCKING *LOOK* LIKE SOMEONE WHO HAS THEIR ACT TOGETHER!?!? THE ANSWER IS "NO"!
Seriously where are the good guys?
The friend zone.
All I’ve had today is sex and water. I think it’s time for tacos.
Well, I turned down sex again. This is guy #5 in the past 2 weeks. My vagina is going to seek emancipation.
I think my stomach is breaking up with me. It's giving me back everything I ever gave it.
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