my mom is pro-life. I dare you to fuck me.
I cut my penus on the lid.
You know, I really only think drinking is a problem if you're not good at it.
I dont have enough money in my bank account to buy a pregnancy test. this wouldnt be the first time ive had to steal one either...
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
whenever music plays i find myself always doing kegels to the beat. its like the new foot-tapping
I just scratched behind my ear and found icing. Fuck you.
It took too long for people to come up with things in "never have i ever" so we had to change it to "Don't judge me but.."
she just called me the flavor packet to her ramen noodles. get me the fuck out of here.
You need to stop thinking about the needs of your vagina and concentrate on the greater good
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Turns out I hooked up with a chick who has lupus. I don't know if that's a bucket list thing or not, but it's now on mine. Check.
We had sex to beyonce's "drunk in love" and then he order me pizza. It was perf
Yeah she's a complete bitch. But I mostly hate her because she hijacked my fuck buddy.
Operation terrify all men while simultaneously make them fall in love with me is going quite swimmingly so far
I can now say I know getting hit in the face with a flying tortilla is not fun
And then I was like pick your blow job song and he choose the sonic the hedgehog theme song. If he's not the one no one is.
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