there are some really hot girls on the bus. i want to lips them
R you on birth control?
No, why?
...no reason
I just got a rly sharp new razor and was shaving down there...
and?
RIP clitoris
shes got a really nice body. but her face is eh.
you dont need a face to have sex
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I love the "adulterer" look on you. It's hot.
Its part of my fall instant classic line.
you have to give me like a days notice for these kinds of things, you cant just call at 9 am and expect me to be sober
I mean, she is a dancer for the Suns. If I didnt fuck her that would just be bad team spirit.
The a/c is broken so they cut a softball size whole in the freezer door. Goodbye deposit.
KNEE DEEP IN HOES. SEND HELP.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
she pretty much pinned my hand to her boob "on accident" for like 10 seconds before she moved. Waiting the rest of the night was just a formality.
Just got smoked out by my boss. Working in politics is great.
Also I'm at the pub and there are old lady pirates gyrating on a pole. I wish you were here.
I forgot about snapchatting a pic of us, but I remember flossing with your hair.
Have you ever been so drunk you pass out in the cab and everyone goes inside and forgets about you? I have
This is the worst drive ever. Im hungry, hungover, i gotta shit so bad, and the only radio station im getting clearly is playing alvin and the chipmunks christmas songs
Randomize