There is no way to make a throwing up smiley so just picture it....
He went through and tagged himself on my crotch in all of my facebook pics
i'm so bored i'm watching porn for fun. not even jacking off or anything. just watching.
Just shaved my legs with toilet water in a walgreens bathroom. I am so classy.
Ed hardy stationary at walmart. I'm betting snookie wishes she knew how to write
Standing in line for a prescreening of Alice in Wonderland - guy just passed out cold in front of us - first drug overdose of the Alice in Wonderland phenomenon witnessed.
Weird question, would you want to do fetish porn? you get paid.
Her divorce is going to cut into the amount of time we spend fucking.
I'm in awe of how selfish that is.
Dude i thought about you literally the second after I came. This friendship is starting to cross some serious boundaries
Hes warming up week old McDonalds french fries, putting hot sauce on them, and counting them with his shirt off.
I just saw a douchebag with frosted tips & a LaCoste polo with popped collar driving a Call of Duty edition Jeep. It was a cavalcade of stereotypes.
He walks in. We each have a tiki torch. We say, the tribe has spoken. We put his out and then stab him with it.
I need a hug and tequila
I'm sitting next to a milk crate full of tequila right now
This is why we need to live in the same city again
He just yells "mush!" as they're having sex.
You left your phone here
Wait...
Randomize
