Sex on bubble wrap = best decision ever.
Then we started crawling around on the floor because we couldn't get up so decided to be tigers instead. Gotta love power hour.
I should have been more specific when I asked for 8 inches.
Just saw a guy doing jumping jacks at the gym. I don't even have to create a punch line for that
how can i incorporate a boy scout uniform into what i do tonight?
I cannot believe how calm you were last night about telling Katie she was on fire.
when "blow-job jen" drunk dials you at 3 in the morning, you answer
she's sniffed three people's necks on the bus to see who the good smell was coming from...
she's gonna get diseases
I've officially done it all, fucked a girl wearing a twister board. ABC parties are amazing!
At least I remembered to wear a bra. I feel like that's a big accomplishment right now
Drunkness level: fluent in olde norse
omg how embarrassing to not hear the delivery person knocking because you're singing "where are you Pizza" to the tune of "where are you christmas" too loudly
i guess she just walked over ass naked and peed on his laptop. gonna call an over price on that drunk sex.
She was all for the threesome til I showed her a pic of my boyfriend. I think I should re-evaluate my life decisions.
For some reason, my alarm clock was unplugged & in the kitchen microwave. I don't remember doing that...
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