Is it sad I memorized the exact change required for a #7 at Wendy's?
And I was the only one who felt it was dangerous to set the tv and blender on the ledge of the hot tub
Just crossed the line from casual pregrame to public intoxication. Shotgunning in a bus shelter.
did mom hear me barking???
oooooh yeah. good luck explaining that one
sooo high. sooo many dog friends
I just pulled a piece of cookie out of my bra in the middle of class. I'm forever alone.
Solid. Can't put a price on good times
You can and it's called a liver.
That and I was watching this life alert commercial and I'm pretty sure my liver turned up the volume for more information
No, this place just freaks me out. Like I feel like ill get pregnant just being here. And all those pregnant bellies. It's weird.
I am gifting my birthday sex to you, but its okay because I can always just have birthday vibrator.
Stripping out of my teacher clothes to Talk Dirty to Me. Who let me become a teacher?
All of my friends are hooking up and here I am, the lone asexual, looking for someone to eat these tostitos with me.
I see myself subsisting on tequila for the next several days.
Brother gave me a harry potter philosophy book for xmas we need to get stoned and talk about this.
I just want to see you and express my feelings in a drunken manner, but in a sweet way like my english accent.
Are you texting me while pooping again?
I'm also playing fetch with the dog
Randomize
