escape the fate? dumbest band name ever. how about escape the fart. now that is a show i would go see!
dont ever smoke after you drink again... i dont think ive ever seen...or heard of someone throwing up and farting at the same time. that is, if you were farting.
So I've come to the conclusion that I would cry if I had an ugly baby.
just peed on my foot to get a spider off. that lazy.
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Just wrote the directions to get to the girls house im hooking up with on the back of my marriage certificate. Officially worst husband ever.
you also choked him out with your legs on the kitchen floor..
I dont even remember coming home... All my stuff is strewn randomly around my apartment... And I woke up at 5 sitting propped up in my bed with just my arm in a shirt
Good. I hope they all got E.Coli from snorting coke off of some homeless prick's asshole.
And on the subject of embracing my inner whore, I had two different dicks in my mouth yesterday. Friend, it's official. I'm completely outta control.
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I promised myself in the hospital that I would give up drinking for however long the cast stayed on. Thank god it was only soft tissue and not a fracture.
Wanna play whack-a-mole in my pants?
Your word choices worry me.
Thats not real though. Slash there are other extenuating circumstances to lead me to believe dick is wanted
HOLY FUCK I SPELLED EXTENUATING RIGHT ON THE FIRST TRY. IM THE BEST DRUNK NA
I'd call the fact I ended up in my own bed a huge success
She was cute in her own little way. Shit, free taco's makes anyone hot.
I just remembered something from last night. check your closet.
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