Dude she has a fucking rock collection. Never will I ever talk to her again.
Hi, my name's audrey!
Sorry, this girl is phone-stealing drunk.
I finally got laid.. you said it wouldn't happen.
drunk making out is the fucking beeeest. specially when it's your exboyfriend
I wonder if you'll be as excited about this as you are now tomorrow morning.
New York to be Host to America’s Biggest Singles Event
I'm buying eyelash glue, salt, and limes. We know how tonight is ending.
Broke up w/ my married coworker...work is gonna get weird.
I woke up to him drunk-t-bagging me, saying "huevos rancheros" were being served for breakfast.
i'm drinking whiskey out of a ziplock bag in a movie theater. i'm THAT girl.
I can only get completely wasted and hungry two more times and then we're out of fritos.
Kylie Jenner Wasn’t in the Kardashian X-Mas Cards & the Internet is Losing it
Thats not how it works. You get the Rachel, and then Rachel kicks you out. Don't linger or try to cuddle, its just pathetic and makes me look down on you and your penis
I'm in the middle no shirt white shorts humping the white dustbuster next to the guy shooting off the tazer infront of the two guys humping on the bicycle
I can't handle dick pics with conversational captions
I feel like I'm in a development meeting for a Lifetime original movie.
So his dick was definitely bigger than it looked in all the pictures he sent my daughter.
He's just been a dick since he set his face on fire. I just wanted to eat a fucking hot dog.