It's like the water temple from zelda. but with more tits.
dude 8 am is too early to start pregaming for new years eve
clearly you are not from wisconsin
Good ideas don't start with we have a bottle of vodka..
The coffee from our coffee maker just hasn't tasted normal since we made Mac n cheese in it that one time....
These 33 Eskimo Brothers Boinked The Same Person And Couldn’t Be More Proud
she asked to have her picture taken with every guy we walked by.
You better wipe the dick of your lips before you come smoke this blunt.
You know you need to hit the gym when you're not strong enough to get the cork outta the wine bottle. And you know you're a drunk when that's the only motivation to do exercises
He got kicked out 3 times. I have no idea how he kept getting back in. I saw him walking on the highway the next morning.
i stole nothing, broke nothing, and stabbed nothing. aren't you proud of me?
17 Inappropriate Things People Did With Instruments
Check 'smoke weed with our ihop waiter' off of our To-Do List
Although now I have "number of cheese slices" as a unit of boob measurement in my head.
He sent me a selfie with his cat. He has found a way to my heart. And pants.
Wound up hungover. Visiting 4 y/o nephew suggested cookies and milk and playing Kirby with him with the sound down. This kid is going places.
lost my vibrator and now I have to masturbate manually. The struggle is fucking real.
I was like sure, i'll have a drink or two to end the night early. Next thing i know theres a ton of dudes in my house and like 3 gallons of wine. I cant do anything in moderation.