i permit you to call me
I cant wait to get the disapproving look from this elderly black lady...
According to the bell hop, we stumbled in about 4 and then cannon balled into the pool.
He told me that a camel appeared out of nowhere and it told him to quit smoking...
You sprayed lysol all over me. You said that my soberness was infecting your night.
I'm amazed your boyfriend is still with you, how do you manage to pee on him while he is holding you in his lap?
All I know is I was dancing to Shakira in his alley and I think rubbing my junk on his car door.
Random thought: what if being devoured by animals was a death penalty option...and you got to choose the animal?
He's hitting it raw. Might as well stick his dick in a vat of SARS at this point.
DON'T YOU TELL ME I HAVE HERPES ON MY BIRTHDAY. THAT IS MOST DEFINITELY NOT A HAPPY BIRTHDAY.
I woke up with my earring stuck inbetween my tits. Somehow you fucked my earring out and my boobs saved it. I'm pretty impressed with both of us right now.
I expected better sex from someone with the word CHAOS tattooed above his dick. But on the bright side, he was down to watch a documentary on Honey Badgers afterwards so I guess I'll keep him around.
Watching Rudolph while stoned is practically a religious experience.
I don't think I'm gonna survive today. I don't remember how to walk. I must crawl 6 blocks to my bed.
Hey can you explain why there's a dissected coconut in my purse????
Randomize
