I just wish we had the ability to download food from our TVs.
would you consider him our boss?
technically yes
then technically i slept with our boss
I asked what she wanted from Hawaii. She said a baby like Aaden from JK 8.
where am I supposed to find one of those?
He fingered me while we both sang the fresh prince theme song.
Marry him
puking up blue gatorade is not as nearly as much fun as it sounds
He came on my chest. Sat back and said "hey it sorta looks like lake michigan!" kill me now...
He is so amazingly handsome. I just wanna fuck every shred of decency out of him.
Ok I'm good with that cause I'm gonna disappear for 90 days
Are you goin to rehab again?
WTF? Why is there a pic of my tits in ur dad's office?
oh the usual. high as balls and crying about the hunger games.
I chatted up the pastor's son on Grindr during the service. Still ridiculing my decision to go to church this morning?
The poop emoji wasn't even in my recents. Does that mean I'm growing up?
I PUT IT IN THE UNIVERSE THAT I WANTED TO STAB HIM AND THEN SOMEONE DID! KARMA IS A BITCH AND SHE IS BEAUTIFUL!
I had a dream I hooked up with Post Malone. I can still smell the dream
Did u puke in a church parking lot? And go to the wrong funeral yesterday? Lol
Randomize
