nosebleed girl is getting lots of praise
these burps are starting to have way more vomit in them,
'hiiiigh' is saved in my t9 for a reason
she looked like the before picture.
no one is going to fuck you in a field of bunnies
i woke up and my collection of plastic neon wayfarers were half-melted in the microwave. my drunk self hates my hipster self
After we finished he asked if I knew if it was a boy or girl. Diet. Starts. Now.
I'm about to enter vancouver's biggest liquor store. I feel like I should sent you a "wish you were here" postcard.
why does my status of facebook already read REHAB 2011
I cleared a drunken path to my bed for you. If you hit clothes you've gone too far.
Huh interesting. Well thats too bad. Did he catch on?
I doubt it. After sex he sat there naked until the episode of fresh prince (which had JUST started) was over.
the breathalyzer kept saying danger. we made our new slogan danger we need more shots
You should come by for the fire station blow job tour
I love getting kicked out of places. Its like winning a little league game
Let's just say if my bucket list had "fngered in the middle of a club by a complete stranger while being sprayed by UV paint" then that is well and truly ticked off.
Randomize
