I woke up naked, with 10 visible bite marks and a black eye. I'm just going to assume that it was a good night.
Sometimes I wonder why.. Then I realize I can't fool myself with that question bc we all know it's bc of his enormous dick
I'll just get wasted and start throwing myself at men. Someone's bound to take the bait
she literally hasn't taken the mardi gras beads off in three days. she showered in them. TWICE.
whoooo knowwsss what george of the jungle juice is but i feel like im in the promised land
I mean we had sex in a crib. You tell me how my night was.
He gave me an orgasm before we even reached 2nd base, everything he did in high school is irrelevant.
I was so intoxicated last night I was giving out my real name and number ugh.
I'm using the bullet from my cock ring to massage out my tmj lock jaw from giving too much head.
i wear a size 32DD bra. its basically impossible for me to get a speeding ticket
Was your bare penis on or around my blanket?
Hey also tomorrow casually bring up wearing crocs to your sister's wedding
I didn't have time to wash my hair yesterday. Ended up spraying some Febreeze on it.
My mom just woke me up with a cowboy hat and sunglasses on. It's 7 am and she's drunk.
I don't know which is weirder: that she was old enough to have a live-in son close to my age, or that the woman he was with was close to hers
Randomize
