I like the name aiden. he likes stella. I told him they're coming out of my vagina, and I will name them what I damn well please. Stella goes.
Bring booze and chicks. Separate, or one already in the other. Your call.
My main thought on the Olympics: I need LESS cowbell.
just wokeup with my ethics textbook on my chest, animal crakers in my mouth and my dick in my hand. even aristotle doesn't have a theory for this one
ive got a scarf tied around my face holding bags of hashbrowns to it, im too boss to care
Your doorknob is in my back seat, in case you were looking for it.
I couldn't help thinking that my sock monkey was judging me
Need. Hospital. Physically am floating.
She was throwing my stuff away and then before I knew it she was sucking my dick. It was like some fucked up sour patch kids commercial
I just washed out an empty chocolate milk bottle to take whiskey on my bike ride.
You are not an adult
Yes ma'am.Im also looking at my collection of penis pictures in my email playing "who;s penis is that"?
We dug deep emotionally while eating cereal
No more weed for you
of course we called 911. an innocent mans booze was at steak
Betting for two different teams with two different guys is the best. Time to get $100 by one guy and laid by the other!
My theme for the night was drink diego drink! Unfortunately Dora was not there to navigate me to the bathroom
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