you'd be confused too if you woke up to pictures of a ghostbuster doing body shots off you.
I'm also annoyed at my horoscope for not warning me of my perils
Dude, you face planted, there was no "bar fight".
my boobs are worth more now than the blue book value of my car.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You decided that walking wasn't in the cards for you anymore
I'm reliable. I always make it home. I always throw up in the street too.
When in doubt, it's too much cheese
Is it weird that i want a guy to ask me to homecoming by spelling it out in meatballs?
THATS VERY WEIRD
At what part of the night did you guys leave?
After my hot tub cannonball.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
"I'm 95% straight," he says. Cut to him on his knees...by far the most beautiful guy I've ever fucked.
The cop said he like my hair today. Please explain all other interactions with law enforcement, k thanks
My roommate told me he found me naked in the shower puking and when he asked why I was naked I said "you can't wear clothes in a shower"
I don't think it's a coincidence that the day I just happen to do the splits at the gym I come back with 7 guys' phone numbers.
You know, finding my first grey pube at 34 is FAR more distressing than finding that first grey hair at 13.
I DO NOT FUCKING WANT OR NEED THIS INFORMATION!
A dozen naked frat boys in squirrel masks just ran by. Welcome to the official start of the holidays.
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