You seriously don't know?He was trying to arrest you and you were shouting that you were being punk'd. Punk'd? that show got cancelled like 5 years ago.
Sometimes I look at the people in school that are obviously very diligent and on top of their studies, and then I wonder why they don't smoke weed.
I just slow jerked to the titanic theme song, i dont think theres enough alcohol in the state to get me over her tonight
$100 bras are my way of telling my boobs that I love and appreciate them, and all the metaphorical doors they have opened for me.
We found her. She's owling on the sink in the bathroom.
Took me 10 minutes of oral to finally get him hard for like 30 seconds of sex until he came and passed out. Def not worth the ROI.
Funny, 'cause his story is it went great. He faked passing out so he wouldn't have to do anything in return.
Bro my mom is in for two days and you can't even hold back on the drinking she said as she left i hope he doesn't always pee his pants and he is sure popular with the girls wtf
Bro, she said my penis was the best thing to happen to her mouth since teeth.
I mentioned your name at this party and some girl started crying.
Definitely got a blow job in Charles Schwab's bed last night.
I love my job.
My dog just ran downstairs with my vibrator in her mouth... during my dad's birthday dinner.
a victory without nudity is not really a victory
I wanna trust fall face first on a penis.
It’s like my vagina just knows when a man is a barrel-chested freedom fighter.
No. No. Fuck you! You can do your own grocery shopping.
Randomize
