It is pretty awful out and I still haven't put on pants yet.
I can't get into him, he looks really young. I'd feel like I was blowing the Gerber baby.
Do you think Conan would leave his wife for me?
just found more coke in my pocket. i love not washing my jeans after every individual use.
I just paid $5 for a shot of el toro and the bartender wasn't even hot. Rock bottom.
I just used an app to identify a song that was playing in the background of a porno. May god bless your soul steve jobs.
Shotgunned a beer while taking a bath.
he payed over $300 just to break into the hotel pool and skinny dip alone for 5 minutes and then peace in a cab. and all he had to say for himself was "gotta go swimming, gotta live life"
where do u find these people!?
Your drinking has interfered with your drinking. I bet you could get a scholarship to a rehab. Thats pro-level
he doesn't even text me anymore.. he just facebook chats me a shark emoticon which has turned into code for 'be naked at my house in 15 mins'
Your life has no conflict it's just a blur of sex and Netflix
If you had been home 20 minutes ago, you probably would've caught me masturbating, so it might be for the best.
I'm about 40% drunk. You know, not drunk enough to light the bar on fire, but drunk enough to let the cougar hit on me.
I'm eating ice cream out of my purse
I got locked into my place today. You might be wondering if that was a typo... It's not.
Randomize
