I just found 22 drunken videos and 4 naked pictures on my phone. We'll start the bidding at $5
I dk what to do with this kid he is like legitimately interested in my life.
My fave moment of today was you sitting in a hot pink innertube puking into the ocean in front of a lot of children. i would have held your hair back but the ocean did it for you.
Is there a technical name for reverse cowgirl? I'm trying to maintain a little dignity with my mother here
another part of my inner child died when i emptied my crayon bank for dollar beer night.
This is final. The chair stays in the bathroom, we are too old to be puking from the floor, grown ups sit in chairs infront of the toilet to puke.
Or grown ups don't drink themselves into vomiting.
Oh okay. That's fine. I'll buy us both dinner when you bail me out
It's a post jail date
If one of us has to be polite I guess I won't sneak out while he's in the shower
Right when he asked me if I was on birth control my dad walked in. This is my fate.
But idk if I cried about life then banged him or banged him and then cried. Chicken or the egg?
He was going down on me and all I could think about was how proud of me you'd be
I was struggling morally, but once I let go, I came pretty hard.
In my life time, I want nothing more than to get a blow job while watching Space Jam.
tonight...tonight im having sex in honor of you
Is she still on a quest to lick every stranger that enters the bar, or have the restraining orders reached critical mass?
Randomize
