Your vagain smells worse when im sober.
sorry, worng number
Life is so much better after having sex.
just got a rotting pancake and bacon in the mail from your address....
Ok. Cause im very serious about this. I wanna strip and do coke for a month
i will be blacked out in the shower. come get me. 20 mins.
at least the person I hooked up with donates to charity, the shirt I was wearing this morning was his relay for life shirt.
I have just figured that it takes exactly 2 and a half rums to clean the bathroom..
All I could think about when I saw her was that she could be the mother of my future first round draft picks
I want to reach into my vagina and rip out my uterus with my bare hands. Understand how much it hurts now?
he doesn't sweat normal. maybe that's what THC smells like coming through the sweat glands...
So like, boobs.
are you really going to start every conversation like that?
you were holding her above your head singing Circle of Life in what i assume was a Simba reference. then she smacked her head on a bar light and the bouncers kicked you out
We are back but we are listening to stairway to heaven in my car. Amy is air drums. Be back when it's over.
you said, "I wonder what your mum is doing right now." in the middle of sex, of course I threw up on you.
My Dachshund waddled into the room carrying a rolled-up pad in her mouth with period blood. This day is clearly off to a good start.
Randomize
