I just used Master P to describe what sound the letter U makes to my daughter...
The stories of what you did in Cuba got home before you.
Talking about the game in the closet with a banana wearing sunglasses.
how did the keg end up in the top bunk?
at one point he was caressing me in the kitchen asking me my name over and over again and then asking what my favorite continent was
he said he wished i had balls so he could kick me in them. then we had sex obviously
Ya I know. She's self aware though, like the terminator. Which is the best kind of crazy
So our annual Dick Trip has been tentatively scheduled for the week of July 1 - 5. This years theme is "Fucking for Freedom".
I went over to help her build a porch, but we decided that was too much work, so we just got high and watched Scooby Doo
Just finished off half a bottle of vodka. Can't take in anymore liquids so I ate 3 spoonfuls of your powdered gatorade to fight off the hangover. Wish me luck and check me for a pulse when you get in!
I was originally going to go as fembot from Austin Powers
I wanted to have tiny guns for tits
Trust me, dating 38 and 20 year old dudes at the same time is the best. Money plus all of the sex. Finally figured out this relationship thing.
I'm trying to get weird tonight. Like I want to see bitches crawling on all fours drinking milk from bowls and shit by 5 am. You down?
Emojis can't explain what he felt when that ass dropped
Like he was trying to be sexy but he had shit taste in porn so i left
Randomize
