No it only became awkward when she walked in with her new boyfriend and we realized we'd all banged her
maddie and i have invented a community puke bowl. explanation later
You were like pukeahontas last night, you tried to tell us you were okay, then you puked in the garden.
The best part of last night was the women's softball game on the TV at the strip club
Met Dan at the park for lunch and the guy parked next to us was getting a BJ the entire time. Way to make me feel like an inadequate girlfriend, random park skank. All Dan got was a double cheeseburger and a large iced tea...
he wears New Balance sneakers on a regular basis, did you really expect the sex to be more than decent?
Yah... You need to get here. Evan just peed off the karaoke stage.
easter 2014 is on 4/20 THIS IS NOT A DRILL YOUR FAMILY WILL EXPECT YOU TO BE HOME AND SOBER I REPEAT THIS IS NOT A DRILL
Do you sleep with the same women I've already slept with on purpose?
75% of my food budget goes to wine, the rest to chips and salsa.
I had a sex with someone last night and I was so drunk. i told him to tell me his whole name so I can say it back to him in a "sexy" way.... Because I forgot it
All I could think about while we were fucking was what Hogwarts house he would be in
Found like seven bruises in the shower. One was shaped like a hand. Best. Sex. Ever.
I just told the bartender to “give me something that will murder me”
breakfast this morning: omelette, Valium and baileys hot chocolate
Now that sounds like the breakfast of champions
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