Riding a fattie is like riding a scooter, its ok just not in public.
WTF. you left me with no condoms and you ate all my mac and cheese. scumbag.
operation harelip BJ is a go
Only you could manage to look like a complete slut while wearing a turtle neck.
Theres a midget tsa agent. Just an observation
wine pong. its mother daughter day and i think she's mad. I smell like jager
Mixed review. I fucked her in the river, but then we were assaulted by ducks.
We got back from the bar and started watching bizzare foods, which subsequently led to the consumption of large amounts of rancid lunch meat and small insects.
So he got the TA job but i told him its not official until we have a quickie on his desk. He offered to break into his office. He doesnt start until this fall.
A boy just offered to come over and help me clean my house. I hope you are more successful than he will be tonight.
I found dried jizz from last night on my leg while feeding an infant a bottle. I am not fit to care for children
I'm not a whore anymore. I gave up 90% of my women for you. I'm a 4-5 woman kind of guy now.
My professor just told my lab he could drive us around town in his 1991 Lincoln towncar limo for our bar crawl. This just keeps getting better!
We played wedding bingo. I made out with the maid of honor and fucked one of the bride’s sorority sisters. But I needed to get with the groom’s cousin, a mother-in-law to be, or the wedding planner to win and I came up short.
His sex game is strong it’s like a warlord’s dick! you know what I mean?
Nope
Randomize
