so he expects you to be his vegas whore for the season. nice.
I don't think he has that. His apartment was pretty much a tv and a bed. Topless girl calendar and a glass of water to put out cigarettes.
He wouldn't know what to do with his penis even if they made a "how to get a blowjob for dummies" guide
FB needs to have a relationship status called...screwing my roommates bf..linking their names would be an easier to tell her!
i have a food baby... i think its a boy...
i wish i was a boy too so i knew what a blow job felt like
I JUST MET THE GIANT MAN THAT WILL CARRY ME FROM PLACE TO PLACE
He came so hard he burst a blood vessel in his eye. Do I have to take him to the ER? because I'm too tired for this shit.
That's not a funny feeling. That's hepatitis. You got it from that bar where everything was sticky.
When Pony by ginuwine plays I pretty much just grind on the nearest penis.
So I just had breakfast and then sex in a parking garage before he went to school and thus I am loving my life
You know i love you, but i just cannot fuck you until your eyebrow grows back. It's too hard not to laugh.
congratulations on joining the accidental bisexual club
You passed out in my backseat like a legitimate infant. A really drunk, really horny infant
one of my coworkers asked me if I was PMSing today...... excuse me sir, but it is none of your business as to what my uterus is or is not doing right now. fucker.
and yea, I'm PMSing.
Randomize
