When my girlfriend drinks sangria it's like winning the vagina lottery
I just googled maps his house, and took the virtual tour back to my apartment, just so I could visualize the walk of shame in the morning
Well, we missed our public lewdness court date. Looks like were going to jail in Alabama ...
He just helps fat girls get exercise. One walk of shame at a time.
please don't text me until you can spell three letter words again.
He's just giving off this "someone be a bitch to me" vibe
She's beautiful tan and skinny she will make me hate myself and that's what I need in a friend right now
I was worried he'd break you after the hiatus your lady parts had to take from social interaction.
I feel like saying your blowjobs are worth a burrito is not the best strategy to get him to be more giving in bed.
Never have i felt more judged than when i was throwing up in front of a hello kitty shower curtain at 5 in the morn
I smell like a skunk, but I'm okay with that.
He won't have sex to beyonce. I hate him.
It's Scottsdale, it shouldn't be this hard to find drugs.
Good to know. If our sexting moves past early 1900s vernacular, I'll be sure to use that once or twice.
He nailed that bed down really well so it won't break again. All I could think while he was nailing it was "challenge accepted".
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