There is no way to make a throwing up smiley so just picture it....
did you violate me with a mr sketch marker when i passed out? i just peed and wiped purple and it smelled like grape. i need to get to the bottom of this...
You were chewing up hot dogs and spitting them out
Fuck it dude, we gotta bounce before she starts talking about her steve irwin conspiracy
He managed to get his pants on, so the cop just sat there facing us with his lights shining in the car. I made shadow puppets.
Drinking games this Saturday as usual although the ice cube tray game is banned due to last weeks incident
Currently playing beer pong versus the girl i lost my virginity to.....and her mom
I need a present that says please like me even though i'm banging your grandson
I'm stuck in a tree and request your assistance ASAP
I try not to flex my sex appeal too much around the engineers, it's like feeding bears...always ends in disaster.
Slept with the roommate last night and also discovered that she believes in eugenics. I may need to slow down my drinking
It was like the icing on a beautiful fuck boy cake.
Hey, I left a taco in your dishwasher.
he told me he wanted me to go see his cat. apparently i was more interested in playing with his cat then having sex.
I woke up in a bathtub full of green and blue Nickelodeon slime! wtf?!
Randomize
