apparently i'm not the first person wake up and realize she's ugly cuz i tore this house apart and there is no sign of my clothes
oh my god i am going to vomit. and little burgers wearing crowns are going to come out.
Tipsy and thinking of you. Talk tomorrow. My alliteration is awesome.
She's never had brie before last night, don't know if I can date a girl that doesn't like soft cheeses.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
DONT TAKE THE KEG OUT OF THE HOT TUB I NEED A PICTURE OF ME DOING A KEG STAND ON IT
She told me to stuff her like a turkey. She actually yelled happy thanksgiving.
my mom just cut me up lemons and limes so i would have some vitamins with my tequlia
since i'm not going, you must continue my tradition of flashing every person there.
I was just laying in bed wondering if there's more important things in life than cheese stuffed pretzels.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
YET AGAIN, my financial planning for 2013 consists MOSTLY of eating chipotle as "brain food" and drinking Heavily before the Jeopardy contestant test.
As I read your response saying I need a tan before I can become a go-go dancer, a girl cane up to work and gave me 10 coupons for 100 days of tanning for a dollar.
This is fate. You were destined to be a stripper.
You very well can't change your mind now. It would upset the natural flow of life.
I kinda got drunk and threw my debit card into a bonfire so I don't have any money at the moment lol.
I gave a handjob to the beat of uptown fuck last night
My aunt asked how many piercings I had and my mom said seven and I said nine and that's how my family found out I had my nipples pierced.
I have a few Facebook friends I only keep around for quality control purposes on Tinder
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