i'm officially boycotting relationships. hello random hook ups and treating men like meat.
This is the kind of period I feel I should name out of respect to the fact I might have just gotten lucky this time.....
Ur keys r in ur purse. ur purse is on the couch. ur cigs r on ur front seat. u drank all ur wine. mollie took ur jkt bc u cockblocked her. and in case anyone asks, the saints won 31-17.
shes the only person ive ever met that could make "i don't swallow" sound sexy
he'll be my respectable boyfriend for tksgiving and i'll be his non-slutty girlfriend for christmas.
and then ....
he stays my gay friend and my parents think i'm not a slut.
And im sorry for wishing your girlfriend gets genital warts.
She told me she's into girls now. I told her there would be a full bottle of jäger and an empty bed here Friday.
Not going to lie: not even the fact I'm wearing men's cargo pants can hide the fact I have an awesome ass.
I would totes reciprocate the nip pic, but I'm sick with a piece of tissue shoved up one of my nostrils and I'm just not feeling that ambitious. Sorry.
I felt like a responsible adult. A responsible adult that may or may not end up shitfaced. But not heaving purple puke into a urinal like last time because I'm classy now.
I told ya. I'm super awesome at making things super awkward. I'm the Awkwardnator.
When he was leaving this morning he said I'll text you later on and I replied with if you don't that's cool too.
Bruh. He just said the words "cyber sex"-is it 1999?
She was all for the threesome til I showed her a pic of my boyfriend. I think I should re-evaluate my life decisions.
Sorry I had sex in your backseat while everyone was in the car
It's quite alright. I found his shorts in my backseat, not sure what he was wearing when we dropped him off
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