She announced her abortion via fbk
With sake I got over my irrational fear of seafood. Now I just fear sake.
i need to find a birthday card for her that tells her how happy i am that i can now legally bang her
How exactly do I approach the whole "Well that was fun. Am I purchasing the Plan B or you?" topic?
4 girls from the bar, me, strip basketball. here. NOW
Oh my god I forgot there were Band-Aids on my nipples
I was having the most awesome dream about onion rings and you hit me and told me to stop touching you...WTF?
These are your "grown up" slampiece's new hours of operation; please plan accordingly
sriracha body shots, that's gonna be a thing
it's like you just said "i want you to suffer"
Jesus, you make out with one twin then sleep with the other and suddenly they don't want to play soccer with you... Men can be so sensitive...
I LIKE NICE BOXERS OKAY!? COMBINED WITH A GLORIOUS DICK JUST MAKES THIS EVEN BETTER. WE MOVE IN TOGETHER AND THAT PIC'S GETTIN FUCKING FRAMED.
He is more interested in finding his sweater than he is in having sex with me. It better be a great fucking sweater.
Would I do it again? Probably not but still,I don't regret a single ratchet thing I've done in college.
We really gotta wear capes to the bar more often...
He fucked me so hard my contacts fell out! Didnt know that was possible.
Randomize
