She looks like Robin Williams dressed as a frog.
that girl last night was a 15
wait she was 15?
no like black jack not sure if you should hit it
Dude, we have the same penis size. Best friends for life.
we just watched the ball drop on the spanish channel. best mistake of my life.
im flying all the way to minnesota to see him for four days... cutest-best-friend-reunion or most-epic-booty-call-ever?
who says it cant be both...
What's the point of having 3 fuck buddies when their periods all seem to sync up
I'm more concerned about the fact that I can't feel my gums
If you want to borrow my flask for all future interviews as a good luck charm because your last one went so well with it in your suit pocket, just let me know
This is the high leading the old right now
Dave, I love you but you're barking up the wrong lesbian. You sir are the competition. You don't threesome with competition.
I have a fantastic sense of humor but being called a merman isn't funny
i projectile vomited shoeless at 7:30 a.m. in a taco bell parking lot. never again.
I knew my bag made it because I could smell the fireball that spilled inside of my suitcase before it was on the luggage carousel.
I wiped my ass with some girl's sock, I would honestly admit if I hate Caitlin's sandwich.
Apparently, im the only one in the world who thinks Larry King is hot.
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