I was just curling my hair topless and I just burned my nipple. Ouch.
it's not the walk of shame if you do it in cowboy boots.
she needs to go suck a dildo, because she isn't worth a dick
I hate to tell you this, but your sister reeks of whore.
At this point it has been so long i wouldnt know what a dick was if it slapped me in the face.
sometimes you just have to pull up your panties, blow a kiss to the security camera and walk out of the alley like nothing happened.
Sorry you called when I was puking in a cheetos bag
WE COULD TOTALLY DO ECSTASY AND GO TO THAT CAT SHELTER OFF OF BROADWAY.
I made my own utility belt like Batman. It has a cup holder for my beer, cell phone holder, a little pocket for condoms, and a sewing kit just in case.
I mean I love some drunk compliments, but he just wasn't up to my low standards.
Yeah, but he has adorable dimples and dimples talk me into things.
I hope I don't have to wait for another triple crown winner to get laid again.
I'm going to make you a sign to put on your penis to ward others off
i showed up really high and was trying to not be,so in order to not seem high, i got plastered
Hi. I have frying pans taped to my feet. I achave to go the hospital, theyre on pretty tight. Can't feel legs bring me juice
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