we're blogging at a bar
there is nothing more satisfying than playing sudoku while pooping
Bro, i just sang journey's "dont stop beleavin" at mcdonalds. and the guy was sooo impressed he gave us free food. God i love america
I just want to let you know it was a unanimous decision that we would eat you first if we ever turned into cannibals, we figured with all the bacon you eat you may taste like it. It's a chance we are willing to take with your life...don't forget that we love you
They poured beer (3 cans) down the toilet so bubbles can be drunk in fishy heaven
The cleaning lady has a form she makes me sign every time she finds me passed out in my office so she can keep track of how much to charge me each month for keeping quiet about it.
If this were a real emergency kilted men wielding claymores and riding giant badgers would hve rescued said Guinness. So clearly this is just a hypothetical
And I wasn't prepared because its been a very long and lonely season and I wasn't expecting to find dick at Press Box trivia night....
the bartender goes "wow its so good to see you sober" and gives me a hug
The power of my boobs compel you
Sorry I wore your bra during sex last night
I just traded sex to frolic with a box of husky puppies. Is this rock bottom?
You KNOW it was a good night when you find French fries AND taco remnants in your bra when you get home...
Taking a shit in a Texas 7/11... not accepting phone calls now lol
you're telling me you don't want to have sex 30,000 feet above the earth?
Randomize
