Baconater + red wine = first meal of the day
im never drinking wine from a person in a wet suit and goggles ever again.
Chasing a shot of svedka with a clementine is NOT the same as tequila w lime...
It's what America was founded on: former hookups referring you for a job four years later.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm over this relationship. I'm just going to get drunk all day, wake up in a puddle of my own vomit again, and go on with my life
If I'm going to start compromising my butthole it's going to be for much better drugs than a ventolin
OH FOR FUCKS SAKE! SOMEONE TOOK ME FOR A GODDAMN PROSTITUTE!! IM WEARING LEG WARMERS!!! THAT IS LIKE THE LEAST HOOKERISH THING TO WEAR!
No. Dude. I didn't knoe it eas floibg to move. It's slepprru ixuy!
my mom said i came home and fell asleep on the floor. like right in front of her.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
MY TITS ARE PERFECTLY CALM.
I have vodka and 50 pizza rolls best spring break ever
I'm sobbing to NWA
i can do like, 15 pushups. 20 if i listen to dubstep.
Compositionally, that's actually a really nice picture.
And your penis looks really nice too.
It was probably bad to sleep with someone just to pet his dog right?
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