i am NOT doing that with my feet, or any part of my body
Fuck Jersey, the house im in is so baller but this state just cannot win.
Dude, this chick just tossed my salad hard. All that I could picture was a dog trying to get the last of the peanut butter out of the jar of Jiff and trying not to think of how grotesque my last dump was.
Then she tried to kiss me and I wouldn't and she got pissed off and went to sleep. Then about an hour later, her kid called her. She went home and on the way out I told her to wash her mouth before she kissed her kid good night. Weird night..
omg i can't drink anymore.. i just pulled up my dress and started playing with my vagina
You were asking people if they could pee on you while you shotgunned beers
i feel as if its time to shave my pubes but i should wait until before the party. nobody likes a sloppy drunk girl with a stubble-crotch.
story of my life.
did u really fuck my little sister???
im not saying yes or no but just know that my answer rhymes with "mess"
why does my status of facebook already read REHAB 2011
she's using motion activated glade air fresheners as some sort of early warning system
his roommates said i can move in if i promise to only drink tequila the rest of the semester. challenge accepted.
From what I can tell at a cursory glance, it seems that last night I fell asleep on string cheese and it melted into my bra.
Okay, first we buy a pirate outfit and then we get drunk, you in or you out?
honestly, you deserve someone taller anyways
Anyone who does not know who Paul McCartney is does NOT get to put hands in my pants
His wife found the thong I “forgot” in his glovebox
Randomize
