And as you crawled into the bathroom last night you repeatedly said "I know the routine".
It's like she bought one bad life decision and got one free
i just successfully used the word "hymen" in a paper...welcome to senior seminar in lit.
I puked in the urinal of a bar tonight. Not embarrassed cause I got away with it, legitimately upset you weren't there to make fun of me.
Me. blonde. Sex. Dance floor.
Checked my photo vault today... My self nudie folder is passing the 150 mark.
The weird thing is that you don't send them to anyone. You just keep them for yourself...
Just rolled up to a matinee showing of THE HOBBIT. At the dollar theater. Alone. In sweats. With a fifth of sunnybrook and leftover pizza in a ziplock. There's a dude here in cape with his elderly mother. I'm handling this breakup FIIIIIINE.
Lift me 50ft in the air like a tow truck but with your penis
How high are you exactly
I just want to sing to him and rub baby oil on his head
I'm definitely not going to be able to fuck him high. I won't be able to not laugh at his man boobs
McDonald's and a car nap. I feel kinda human
I've never been to an orgy, but I would assume nachos wouldn't be out of the question at one.
No idea but I'm preparing for 4 tequila shots and tons of vomit
There's a possibility I may have hooked up with that British guy...
Possibility? You left the door open! Everyone saw!
Oh, did your mom say anything else about my butt?
Randomize
