The guy dancing on me has three visible teeth. WHERE ARE YOU?
elementary school lunch room party. everyone brings their own lunch and can trade stuff. all juice is booze.
Exactly. I don't do penetration on the first date. Blowjobs however are perfectly acceptable.
I encourage the greeting beej. It determines if the dick is worth keeping around.
I can't go out tonight I need to save my money for important things.....like rogaine and ecstasy.
so when he was about to cum, he screamed his mother's name and continued to pray for forgiveness. wtf
he has been on a 2 week bender, has been homeless for a week and a half, and leaves for madagascar in 2 days. Do we worry or is that normal?
I keep calling his kid the wring name. This is not helping my cause. And by cause mean his dick
I'm about 95% it's a collapsed lung. Go big right?
oh god I've lost the ability to distinguish between 'star trek' and 'the future'
I mean, as I was vomiting in front of a giant crucifix I became acutely aware of my poor choices
When you leave ur sleepover boy on ur front porch waiting for a cab bc work
Em I need to know if his cum tastes like vodka. Report back.
How weird is it that 2 people I've had sex with have the same birthday and they don't even know each other
if he becomes president of the united states, I will tell EVERYONE that i took his virginity.
My butthole is tingling. Must be the grapefruit juice
Randomize
