I just read the lonely terrorist on nwa had 40 more friends than me on facebook
I puked in the pool and didn't tell them, then they all went swimming. Is it dick to just sit back and enjoy the show?
I can't really talk right now. I'm getting on a plane to Oregon to go give a guy a bj. I'll see you in three days.
Just walked in on the Yellow Ranger getting porked by a guy in a UD Blue Hen costume. Will somebody PLEASE think of the children.
He wants to know how I lost my bra in his pants....id like to know too
If you asked me 10 years ago where I thought I'd be today, I can pretty much guarantee I wouldn't have replied with "buying hemorrhoid cream on Bourbon St at 7am"
But the Super Mario beer pong table is more than appropriate.
Abort mission; I repeat: Abort mission.I found an attractive one.
I'll be in SoCal at my bachelorette party, aka embracing a fireman covered in KY and chocolate shavings.
Just watched two people have sex in the pool. Hope you enjoy your yeast infection courtesy of the comfort inn.
P.S. If you wake up before noon it still counts as morning sex
I can't base my relationships off of good dick and dogs.
I think I just got buffalo sauce on my penis. Is that a turn on or off?
The bouncers found you passed out on the toilet. They tried to move you but you refused and repeatedly shouted that you wanted to go out like Elvis.
Would you say that skipping class and sitting alone in my room singing One Direction to myself and sobbing is an acceptable way to deal with the break-up
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