You dirty dirty liar I like the way you twitter
it was a shit show
We all have our days. But yours might be on the internet.
wouldve been great, if we lived in constant slow motion cause that shit lasted 30 seconds and half the time he was putting on the condom
Did you see that girl I got with last night?
Girl? Oh...weird...to be honest Ive always thought you were gay..
Hey when I die alone will you come by often enough so that my cats don’t eat my face?
how does Santa get into Hogwarts?
My flask crushed my baggie full of aderall in my backpack, why can't my demons just live together in peace
So i closed my laptop as i started to fall off my bed and then i caught myself and realized that moment of catching myself is the difference between tuesday and friday.
Also, I had a dream I had a ray gun and woke up holding my dick.
You were laying in bed whispering and crying to the half eaten burrito saying "why am I shitting so much" and "what did I do to deserve this"
I am the sex elephant in the room. Again.
Now I'm ashamed that I wore a bra
You blew him?!?!
*Am blowing
And I keep taking breaks to write you back, please stop replying.
congrats on being the token straight people in our group.
So I think my neighbor's name is Olli if I'm hearing the girl the girl he's fucking clearly
Randomize
