I haven't been this sober since birth.
If penises could fly, my ass would totally be an airport.
i just googled "who won the civil war" . how can i still have a 97% in this class?
is it customary for a bride to wear white even if she's a whore? i feel tie-dye would have been more accurate
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm in my winter jacket and nothing else. very drunk. bring bitches.
You texted me "Americans are sad" and "chicken coop disaster" without any further explanation.
I jerked him off and then punched him in the face for no reason. Typical evening drinking Sailor Jerry's.
the gays at disneyland are vicious
Halfway through the blowjob she stopped and said 'Wait I know this dick'.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He said I gave him the best head he's ever had and I bowed. I BOWED.
"This must be what Jayden Smith feels like all the time"
You know you turned your life around when your drunk eating salad at 3 am on a Friday night
We watched Purple Rain and then proceeded to have sex while listening to the album. If that's not exactly how Prince would want people to honor him, I don't know what is
I remember yelling at him telling him that the strippers were "nice people."
I'm completely creeped out. He's dressed as me. And thinks it's funny.
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