Kareoke will never be a sober sport
Just used the D.E.N.N.I.S system successfully.
the girl I was having sex with just mumbled victory for msu during sex. i love basketball season
She somehow inhaled a tack last night, she's having surgery today.
We need to go to the store an get depends. I really don't want to be bothered with the bathroom this weekend.
well you're talking about the girl who after 4 years, several relationships and several fuck buddies, has yet to have sex in an actual bed
I just discovered I can sober up while teaching class
Like if a baby's bottom had nipples, that's how my boobs feel
Well it's official, last night I hooked up with the third girl from the apartment downstairs.
Dude that's a hat trick!
I know, I tossed my hat on the floor as I was walking out.
He talked for 3 hours straight on how his dad is a dentist how fuck do you think my night was
He was gunna drive a half hour for a makeout sesh. Time to take the diapers off and learn about the wonders of the penis, dude
A person can only vomit Fireball so much before they quit it forever
But Keith is doing MDMA for New Years and he's 39.
Keith has a beautiful 20 year old girlfriend, a good job and a cute puppy. We can't all be Keith.
But I want to be Keith.
dude, he literally lasted one minute. and i paid 8 dollars for cabs.
In the past year, I've fucked 3 Dave's and you've fucked 2 Dave's. That's a lot of Dave's in our vaginas.
We need to start a soap opera called the Dave's of Our Lives.
Randomize
