i am NOT doing that with my feet, or any part of my body
My mom gets in bar fights. She doesn't go to bed early.
I saw her while sober, and she is definately cut off from the penis ride
I met her dad while holding 4 empty beer bottles at the opera house. I think I made a hell of an impression.
I just had a dream that I was pulling you around downtown on a sled, from bar to bar. Dear lord if we start that there's no hope for us
He kept stopping sex to whisper in my ear, and the only thing I could understand was "double stuffed oreos"
Take a good hard look at your life. And the number of 18-20 year olds that you have made out with in the last 6 months... and then keep doing whatever the fuck you want.
All I know is you walked out of the kitchen in some kind of French onion dip bra and started passing out individual chips to guys saying " do you dip?"
last night on the strip the guy screamed at you YOU GOTTA WORK ON YOUR CALVES.
THANK YOU for not letting me make out with that girl omfg I was one step away from a foursome in the handicapped stall
He legit watched "Cops" the entire time he was fingering me.
I guess the lesson here is that I shouldn't send nudes to elected officials.
Like wanna sit on your face while you speak German hot
I'm about to go get lunchables and alcohol. Take that adulthood
So. Um. Hypothetically speaking...how would one get a squirrel out of the house?
Randomize
