I'm in your bed right now
Okay meet you there give me 10
Don't think you can make me leave either
Give me ten I ha e to be ******'s wingman I want you
Riddle me this. What had unbelievable sex, and finally understands the meaning that things come better in pairs?
I hate you
Just mixed Baileys and yoohoo. I feel like an alchoholic 2nd grader.
Well that wasnt the exboyfriend i expected to hook up with today
know what the best part about malls are? standing on the upper level and boob gazing
The bouncer was kicking me out and I put up my finger for him to wait while I chugged the rest of my drink..all he could say is "are you serious right now?"
i dont trust my judgment anymore so im only going to fuck guys who can donate blood at the red cross. they have standards.
I have to bobbypin his pubes for us to have sex. The other day he wanted me to braid them.
Psh a bachelors degree is the new adulthood. We're all just pretending anyways. I'm sitting on my boyfriends couch while he's passed out drunk. In my lap. On a Wednesday. And he's a nurse. See, pretending to be an adult
her dad gauges his nipple piercings.
Dying on my bathroom floor at 7 am, I would rather be eaten by a shark right now
We just left the shoe. An app card to Fridays. $25 to santoras and a note that said sorry we were drunk on the front doorstep of the strip club
I pretended to be blind and he pretended to be my assistant and long story short, we had to buy that bra and panty set, and now we're both banned from Victoria's Secret AND I have a cum stained demi cup.
Had a dream I dropped the L word and immediately threatened to kill myself
You probably shouldn't be having nightmares about expressing affection
So I fucked a guy with his mouth wired shut last night never thought id cross that off my imaginary bucket list
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