Yo I charged a $20 breakfast to ur room, will pay u back in liquor and schoolgirl panties, thx again for a fun time
would you kill someone to have someone deliver pancakes to you when you were high?
to cover up your slurred speech you tried talking like the creepy old man from family guy
med student doing my blood work at the AIDS clinic just hit on me after I told him i was having unprotected sex, but didn't think i had HIV.
My roommate threw his shoe through our window and I came out of my blackout kicking holes in my wall. Pretty sure Edward 80 Hands won't be happening anymore.
We sang "Whole New World" in harmony and he spun me around. You may now barf from the cuteness.
If you have a glass table... Put it up. I don't wanna hurt myself again, I just got my stitches out...
Why can't I live in a world where my only 2 options are rum bikini hot tub party or masturbating?
I thought that wasn't a thing ever since she showed you her vag on the dance floor
I'm making mistakes. Coming up with girl now
I hate me. That girl was hiiiiideous.
I'm ordering sushi and crying over finals. Come over and bring wine.
Quick question—how good are you at digging holes? I mean, besides the one you've dug for yourself. asking for a friend
I don't know what happened last night. But I just woke up in the high school boiler room
What happened lastnight it looks like I had sex with edward scissor hands....my back is so messed up
my bad i broke a mirror over your back
i solemnly vow to never stick my penis into crazy again
I give it a week.
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