we have pet lesbian snakes
And i quote: "where's y'alls from comin' in with them accents?" - from a mississipi mcdonalds
bad: friday night i tripped and fell outside my dorm. worse: i just found out i broke my ankle. worst: i was shitfaced and don't remember any of this.
Id love to say been there done that but im a slutty drunk not a stupid one.
Is it bad to go up to the security desk and ask them for the name of the guy I signed in last night? I have absolutley no clue
All I want in this world right now are Doritoessssss
OK. You going to get home safe? Who are you with?
Doritoesssssss
I just heard someone say "gosh-darnit" and they didn't have a southern twang. I worry for New York.
There's a high school volleyball camp on campus this summer. I'm definitely going to jail.
yeah, its right past the deli mart where i showed my right tit for mozzarella sticks.
OMG stoned with flashing lights behind me, I was freaking out until I realized I wasn't driving my couch
You broke a cabinet. You were climbing up it and it collapsed on you. Lines were crossed.
My glasses smell like tequila. I just put them on and almost threw up.
New high score, I made the stripper choke me while I was getting a lap dance last night
Her son walked into the middle of the living room, took off his diaper, shit on the floor, smiled at me, and walked out, as if nothing happened.
So date night went well?
Never drinking before a 6am train again. Just threw up at boarder control and had to pretend it was cause I was pregnant and not cause I trashed.
You make Europe seem so glamorous.
And he put his penis in my face and I back handed it away.
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