I'm pretty sure she sent a group text out saying that I was the one to get with her last night and sorry to everyone who didnt make it.
Honestly it was an honor just to be nominated.
You stayed up for three hours wasted, feeding my rabbit 2 1/2 boxes of girl scout cookies.
Seriously just heard: "we need some good ass wine. how bout this swa-vig-non blank"
hahahaha. Oh virginia: where the south begins
why the fuck would he compare you to sexy aquatic creatures?
I realize now that I left my pants on that table in the downstairs bathroom at you house on Tuesday....
100% of annual heatstroke fatalities are preventable deaths! Don't let it happen to you! Also, you can catch crabs from almost anything! Be safe and have fun.
they paper machayed me.
i told you ... never pass out drinking with preschool teachers.
He sent me a poorly photoshopped picture of his shaved dick wearing a Hot Dog on A Stick titled "Shorndog"...
I just said "okay we have 20 minutes to get each other off, ready... Set... Go!" and he picked me up and threw me on the bed. I almost came just from that.
Just made a beer run. At 9am. In my pjs. I should not be graduating today
Let's buy some Wrangler jeans and be real live men.
He smells like ham and a lifetime of poor choices
She thought I was dancing but I just couldn't catch my balance for 11 blocks.
there's no judgement here...i was recently just fingered in my dorm hallway while having a conversation with 5 people.
and by running errands I mean eating an entire bag of milanos by myself in the Walmart parking lot
Randomize
