thanks...oh and i got my period
told you
oh hush
There is a girl in bio drinking beer out of a starbucks cup with a straw
I hope he didn't notice that my shirt was inside out when I told him I didn't have sex with the guy. Kind of a dead giveaway.
A valiant attempt to obtain a backhoe was made
we are still finding bottels filled with his pee. tom almost drank the one in the frig
When you see a guy in a wheelchair try to be cool and pop a wheelie, and then fall over backward and hit his head, is it funny or sad?
I just picked up a hitchhiker so karma will be on our side this weekend. Hahahahahaha
No.
it was like fucking a Mumford & Sons song
WTF? Why is there a pic of my tits in ur dad's office?
Didn't want to waste the cheese dust from the white cheddar popcorn, so I gave him a handjob, followed by the most delicious blowjob ever. Win-win.
Dude. I've been high for so many hours now that I'm just accepting this as my new reality.
Specially since he wanted to forget that we even touched, which makes it funnier because I don't think you can take back licking someone's butthole...
If you get me a sex toy for Christmas everyone in my family will question our relationship.
I was just informed that I asked for a glass of wine at the police station
I'm sure it would have gone very well with the cigarette you lit there.
Just puked most of my soul out..
Randomize
