can you pick up canola oil? she lives by wegmans
who is canola oil?
you're an idiot.
you kept calling numbers in ur phone book and saying, "I love your show, I'm a long time listener, first time caller."
Haha he acted like he's never seen a tampon catapolt across the hall before
My bra broke.... so I Macguyvered that shit together with floss
I think you'll appreciae more than anyone that I'm renting my parking spot out for a half gallon of vodka a month.
All of my exes are either overweight and neckbearded or dead. Someone out there is looking out for me.
He told me the hickey on the side if his neck was actually a "bruise" from hitting a bird on his motorcycle. I'm not sure what's more impressive, the fact people believed him due to the size of the mark or the fact you gave it to him.
he looked at me and said 'happiness is a warm blanket' then stole my vodka.
He called me Kitten either just because or he figured out my old s&m life. Either way huge turn on.
Everyday this week I have woken up to a different dick pic. It's like a dick pic a day calendar!
The list of people who didn't throw up last night is insanely smaller than the list of people who did
So it was a successful night I take it?
Found out that I went to the same elementary school as the guy I'm hooking up with. Kosher or no
How high are you rn
Well I just ate a cheesecake straight from the box with a fork and now I’m laying upside down in a recliner chair seeing if I can Uber eats Doritos
So not that high
Well... Chad blew off half of his hand last night. We were able to find most of it.
How many weight watcher activity points do you think sex is worth?
Randomize
