please tell me I'm in your upstairs bedroom. Just google mapped myself and I have no idea where I am.
We found an eightball on the ground last night. I mean, really, who does that?
i'm so sad bro, I can't get any pussy. I'm so sad
I just watched her pee in a trashcan, im still probably going to fuck her, what does that say about my standards
Call me next time you want to get irresponsibly drunk when we have grown up things to do the next day.
They glued all of the ceiling tiles shut.
oh my god. you caused complete remodeling to a college campus that you don't even go to
Dude are you alive? We drank shit that made a german bartender blow chunks.
You've been drinking wine and eating bacon all afternoon. HOW IS THAT DOING GOOD?!?!
She almost killed me. The shot she handed me had tacks in it. Wtf?!
New discovery: pineapple flavored vodka. Life made, liver in jeopardy. Graduation t-minus 50 minutes.
I dont' remember leaving St. Cloud, getting home, or apparently directing traffic in the middle of the fucking street while black out drunk.
Literally just sitting around waiting for someone to come along and fuck my chakras back into alignment
So now I have had sex with 2 people my son graduated high school with.
We were making eye contact while i was throwing up.
My manager is trying to help me find a good career path, and I'm trying to find a professional way to tell him I just wanna smoke and fuck.
Randomize
