some guy just got out of his chair quietly. Laid down on the floor and is now asleep in between rows in my lecture hall. He must have had a rough night.
all she had left on were here heels. phone five
No... We were arguing over whose family is more dysfunctional... Then my brother stumbled in and puked all over jakes ugly dog.
You threw up on yourself, then proceeded to tell us "to not make a mess in your car"
I'm basically just sitting in the porta poTty finishing my bottle of champagne bc I am too lazy to carry it back to the tailgate
Nobody has seen her in 3 days. Should we call the cops or hope this is just another drunk Carmen San Diego game she's playing?
Tip of the day: Don't ever send a bootycxall at 3 in aftnoon. No one will respond n u'll just feel fooolish.
Basically, what i'm trying to say is, if you don't have something, excuse or gift, to satisfy my anger i am going to look you in the eye and piss on the floor.
Beer is acceptable at 830am if it's your bday, right?
Your mother may get texts again about women putting dog food up their vaginas and asking for it to be licked.
My only regret this past weekend is abusing only 3 substances when I could have done so much more.
WHY WONT HOT GETMAN MAKR PUPR WITH ME!!!!???!?!!
I woke up this morning with a tampon in my nose and food EVERYWHERE...
You're never the same once you're dry humped on the frat house floor
This may sound strange but do you have my pants?
You tried to trade them for some girls skirt... So she has them...
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