I'm not upset with you; I'm upset with Fox News.
well when mom kept referring to my "black hole of a vagina" and how i devoured all the nuts at the party like i was a pro, i figured my stay was up.
Just so you know, a true one night stands ends with a 7 minute blow job after eating a sandwich she made for you while the taxi you called for her comes
he broke up with her mid blow job, and somehow convinced her to finish. I want his life
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when he was about to finish he told me to avert my eyes and keep my lady parts away. chivalry isnt dead.
Step 1: drink. 2: drink more. 3: go for it. 4a: success. 4b: drink more. 5. drink. 6. go for other girls. 7. drink more. Sound good?
thank you whoever used my nalgene as a flask. pregamin in chem
Yea he called the cop officer fonzarelli and asked him if he was mad because happy days was off the air. Boom, beaten and arrested
He's sitting in his room on Facebook with nothing but a pillow covering his crotch. I can't help you at the moment.
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I accidentally KO'd a baby in the airport. Thought you should know.
Dude he downed 9 shots of tequila, sang bohemian rhapsody with 3 randoms Wayne's world style, solo'd closing time, chased the hot bartender's dog all the way to main, tackled him, carried him back, hot bar tender hugged AND kissed him, then he does a jumping heel click and leaps into my car through the window. Next rounds free at the yeti. Needless to say your little brother is a tequila god.
Basically.
I just saw someone dressed as a bear leave your house on a motorcycle. I guess you guys are having a good time.
We were sexting and i didn't know what to say, so i said i wanted to wrap him in tortillas and devour him like a burrito. then i went on by saying that i liked my burritos with a lot of cheese.
He just told me I was beautiful, whilst I peed into a cup. If this isn't love I don't know what is.
Baby Shark came on during sex.
She has BABY SHARK on her sex playlist. Who does that?
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