Michelle Duggar likes to fuuuuck
All my problems are solved. I just got McDonalds and scratch off lottery tickets.
Woke up with puke in my bed and my pockets full of Tootsie Rolls.
Jealous.
i've been thru my totinos phase. then after reading the ingredients and nutritional info i almost puked in my mouth. its like having the bastard child of pizza hut and mcdonalds invade your kitchen and start stabbing your digestive system.
..But I'm still alive. And thats the main thing
No amount of marijuana is enough to justify blood on my ceiling
Great. Woke up in Ts room wearing one sock, a glove and a beret with a sorrority chick CLEARLY out of my league. Jose Cuervo you ARE a friend of mine.
I feel like I owe it to them to wear pants.
Yeah but I was the kid who ran over your BMW and is banging your 15 year old daughter... There isn't a cool enough dad in the world to make that work.
I realize it truly is impossible to burrow under the grass like a mole. Let's not drink for at least another 3 days.
BURNT NIPPLES ARE UNHAPPY NIPPLES.
hey now, it was 6 bucks for 5 shots. you would have lost your panties too.
I mean I just feel if I'm not being fat and lazy then I'm not really being myself
I took multi-tasking to a new level. I just ate a plate of nachos off my lap while driving to the bar. And I barely got any on me.
RICK BROUGHT THE HOT BARTENDER HOME. SOMEONE CALL THE FIRE DEPARTMENT, CUZ RICKYS ON FIIIIIIIRE.
lmao nvm she punched him in the face and left
Randomize
