Saved 180 Bucks tonight. Pulled my own tooth. More money to party with.
she insisted i was the anonymous guy on formspring that kept asking to bang her
Clearly I went along with it
and he's drinking a bud lime in his profile pic meaning i can out drink him, meaning i would clearly be the alpha in our relationship
he ate me out like he was chugging a beer.
I woke up naked on my futon with a blanket half way covering my ass and 20 half eaten chicken wings on my chest... At 7 pm... That kind of day drinking
Hey can you text me Heidi's phone number. I just stapled her mattress to the wall and I want to send her a picture of it.
Apparently drunk me thought it was a good idea to buy $100 worth of band aids and stick them all over everything in the apartment.
she fell THROUGH the wall. All in all id have to say that my neighbors where pretty chill about it tho.
So my POF profile is full of Archer references. Only guys who get them will be getting any response to their messages.
I told him I wish we were at my house cause then I could tell him to get out after we had sex.
I'd give anything to be driving a pirate ship wearing nothing but a coconut bra and a grass skirt eating a pizza and watching dolphins jump in the waves. Dreams ya gotta have dreams
i black out too much to be "responsible"
I'm alone, 3 beers in, and cutting tshirts into belly tops.
You kept crying and I couldnt help but laugh at you, I was really high though.
Just a heads up that Dad just brought home a new Porsche and the sales girl he bought it from.
Umm okay. What are they doing?
They’re in the hot tub
Can I get divorced when I grow up?
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