How can something that makes you feel so good one day make you feel so bad the next?
Alcohol?
Sex with a fat chick.
The last thing I remember is you asking me how to grow french fries.
high. he's playing 'oops i did it again' on the ukelele. is this real life?
i'm just sitting here going through her tagged pics, covering up different parts of her face to try and figure out exactly what it is that makes her so ugly.
Her mom is home on her lunch break. Guess who's hiding In the Closet?
No, this is a senior booty call. It cannot be ignored.
Do not deep throat a rocket pop, it WILL go into your lungs, and you may die.
She told me a motorboat isn't successful unless they come out gasping for air. MISSION ACCOMPLISHED!!!
I went to pick my brother up downtown and I stopped at a red light a homeless old man comes up knocks on the window shows me his penis and then screams money
Holy hangover, going dancing with family good idea, taking the last shot with the transvestite bar owner not so much...
I DONT UNDERSTAND NIPPLES. THEY JUST POP OUT FOR NO REASON
Well somebody's had a rough day, nipple-wise
As a 47 yo who just boned a 22 yo, it was definitely a walk of pride. She is a major feather in my aging cap.
I thought I would be a proper lady and put my spare panties in a ziplock
We drunkenly made out once four years ago and then he immediately vomited and honestly I've never gotten over him
i saved a drunk oompa loompa he was passed out on the lawn and i picked him up figured out where he lived and put him in his bed and wrote his roommate a note
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