i feel like i'm waiting in line to date brett michaels
I probably shouldn't have slept with him. I feel like that may have given him the wrong idea.
we found you standing over and eating out of my neighbor's garbage can
I honestly don't know what my boundaries are, but shitting on me is crossing them.
See, not all bad decisions involve my penis.
you left a paper here that says 'to do list' but it looks like you just wrote "drink a bunch of cough syrup and watch Who's the Boss" like 60 times
I just don't know what he sees in my vagina...and that scares me.
Well were gunna have to wash the couch cover now...maybe even the couch, soap or fire your decision
No. More. Tequila. Even the hot dog guy felt bad for me and you know that guy has seen some crazy shit.
You sent me a picture of you holding a goat then asked me if I would have day sex
Just saw an all male dolphin threesome from underwater viewing
Damn, well, it could always be worse
For sure, I could be a prison bitch right now. Thursdays aren't half bad
i took a magical journey through the park for about two hours. it was amazing and everything was fantastical. i have been informed someone babysat me through that shit.
How the hell do you misplace a bag of tacos in a closet?
I just threw up on the way to class. Legit, on the sidewalk by psych building.
THAT WAS YOU? Psych prof just pointed out the window and said "that kids, is why you don't pregame before class"
Randomize
