im never drinking mad dog again and i have your belt.
shotgunning a bud heavy is like shotgunning a turkey sandwich
I hate cats. They're so curious, it's not their damn business.
Spotted at kelly concert- 10 year old in a homemade "I do not hook up" t shirt. Well I should certainly hope not, sweetheart.
He IMed me 5 times, before my homepage even loaded. This is not gonna work out for me
I woke up with spaghetti in my mouth
I couldnt decide if i wanted to pee first or vomit. So i Peed sideways while throwing up into the tub.
he walked in on you at the party drunkenly dancing alone on the bed wearing mardi gras beads, sunglasses, and using one ski pole as a microphone.... and you STILL got laid. i dont get your life.
I just had a boat ride of shame. With Senior Citizens.
he's doing fine. just headbutted the wall and threw up
well I think it'll pretty much be gone by Saturday. On a scale of 1- Snooki's unborn child how much do periods freak you out?
Yeah I'm at work. Nothing like the threat of blowing chunks on passing cars to make you feel alive.
How many drinks/blunt hits do you think I could get if I wore an "it's my birthday" shirt
Just saw a man in a motorized chair roll by drinking a beer. It's 9:45 AM. I love Louisiana.
Like sorry your dick won’t suck itself?
Randomize
