She is in my trunk
They totally botched my boob job. My tits look like they're are winking.
Who did Billy Mays play for?
you went into starbucks asked for a mocha "on the rocks"
I told you not to have sex with her on my futon
I didnt dude, i swear!
either that or you were eating mayo, which was the second thing i told you not to do on my futon
All he said was "Yeah, there's a lot of air down there. And penis."
So not only did team sweden fail to particpate in any drinking game but i also found puke in my viking helmet this morning.
I was greeting people at my door feeding them jello shots out of an ice cube tray with a spoon.
Based on the grey fur I pulled from my teeth, I think her vagina has mice.
There something about a girl that pirates lemonade off a restaurant fountain as a mixer that I find intriguing.
So help my penis see only you. Give him some attention as well.
There is nothing quite so awkward as watching topless bullriding with your mother next to you..
omg i wish you could see the front of my car.
There's literally a dust print of your body and your arm trying to hold on and the other one where your fingers visibly dragged down the hood.
I have drunkenly angered a family of raccoons. Please send help immediately.
well I ran around the park drunk with a plastic baby and fell, all while screaming "I WILL PROTECT YOU CARLOS", yeah there's video
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