he wouldn't shut up and let me sleep
yeah i got into a fight with my man last night
why can't men just shut up and put out?
you know how they say when you die, your whole life flashed before you? well do you get to see what happened all the nights you blacked out?
they're using the ping pong table for ping pong. it's weird
You think they'd ask my permission before turning Pajamarama into an orgy. I saw too many of my friends dicks at once the door got kicked down.
You NEED to fuck him he's a doctor with one leg. Are you kidding me right now. This will definitely make the list. Plus he buys all of us drinks.
We're not even buying beer. Just vodka. In pre-retrospect this was a bad idea but we're doing it anyway
Hey wes just called me saying he was asleep outside by the pond at my apt complex
Curse you and your alcoholic milkshakes.
You're welcome.
Guys with integrity exist just to rain on my slut parade.
We finally have the house to ourselves and your out playing Lance Fucking Armstrong
Getting drunk and throwing things at people isnt the same with you not here. Remember when you dislocated my elbow and then popped it back in in one motion?
I'd rather be sodomized with a fullly decorated Christmas tree.
Congrats on dating a convict, there's no fitbit badge for that one.
? I'm just sitting watching something borrowed alone, crying in my boxers , feel like I should probably do something
tell me about the fingering
Randomize
