I cant believe we actually had a nipple party!
Nope it's a specific set of cards not like a normal ace, queen king thing....kinda like UNO, but instead of yelling UNO you get shitfaced
my fart just smelled so bad i acutally gagged
just because you are now my girlfriend does not mean you can text me nasty shit
I made popcorn. Partly so the room doesn't smell like sex, and partly to apologize for the things you saw when you walked in...
So it sounded like a midget was barfing IN our walls again this morning ...
Call me old-fashioned, but I don't think the words, "Finger my ass" should find their way into casual conversation.
I'm pretty sure at any given moment you could wring out my liver and get a couple of shots of jäger.
You were dancing with a coffee pot of rum in one hand and a joint in the other. So that should explain everything.
Omg. The news was on TV while I was giving him a bj...when the weatherman said its a beautiful start to December, he groaned and said it sure is.
I just spilled my beer on a five year old. She's crying but I can promise you I'm more upset.
She kept giving the uber driving directions and we all thought they were wrong so we'd send him the other way. Turns out she wasn't guiding us home, but to the half gallon that she hid in the bushes on the way to the bar.
Do you want to get naked and order pizza with me
I also guarantee you multiple orgasams and blueberry pancakes
By the time we got to McDonald's you were sharing a Big Mac with a stripper.
operation Bang Australian Boy = oh so successful
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